February 26, 2016  •  Leave a Comment

When I was a kid, I was extremely shy. I remember that the simple sound of the ringing phone was enough to make me run in another room: I was terrified by the idea of speaking to someone. Similarly, buying some candies at the grocery was a great challenge, since it involved talking to the shopkeeper. Of course, this became even more of a problem when I started to go to school, since avoiding everyone else was not an option anymore.

I am not sure where this fear of others came from. Retrospectively, I suppose that I was seriously lacking in the self-confidence department. For some reason, I wasn't very fond of myself: I was convinced that my body was awkward, that my movements were unnatural, that my thoughts were unusual. As a result, I spent years being jealous of the popular kids, secretly looking at them with envy, wondering what I could do to become like them. Slowly, I understood that I first had to believe more in my own potential.

However, while some amount of self-confidence seems suitable, when does it become narcissism? What is the point to constantly feel superior, to constantly love yourself, without any objectivity? It is probably a great way to never improve nor evolve. If one turns the TV on, or reads some news, it is easy to spot dozen of self-proclaimed celebrities, who keep staring at their own belly, certain that they are so interesting for the rest of the world. Even when looking around you, I am sure you can think of someone acting a bit like that, living only for recognition. It is a bit sad really, but I suppose it is directly resulting of how our capitalistic society works. Individual performance is often praised. I hope this trap won't get Humanity stuck in a vicious circle.

Finally, I would like to thank my stepmother for her help: we were chatting about this topic and how to depict it, when she told me about multiple mirrors and infinite reflections. This greatly helped me come up with this concept.



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